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Called into a meeting and told we are being made redundant (laid off) and “not to share outside”. Can I tell my partner?


Dealing with inaccurate job titles on CV, when HR contradict job descriptionHow to avoid a project subtly to avoid interacting with former bossPlaced on work schedule despite approved time-off request. Is it unreasonable to push back on this?My boss has made it very difficult to do my job, what can i do?Should I disclose mental health to my employer?













4















As title. Just been told we are being laid off, and asked to keep it confidential from anyone outside this room.



They sent us home "to absorb the news".



Is it really the case that we cannot tell partners/spouses and have to keep it to ourselves?



When can I tell my partner? or I have to get clearance to tell?



My partner is at home so I can't turn up late with this.










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  • 2





    They mean "anyone outside this room who also works here." They do not mean your partner/spouse. Of course you can tell your partner/spouse.

    – joeqwerty
    7 hours ago






  • 7





    Want are they going to do if you tell others - fire you?

    – henning
    7 hours ago











  • Please don't answer questions in comments. If you know the answer, write an answer.

    – DJClayworth
    6 hours ago











  • @henning Possibly, yes. At least in the UK, would save them on the non-trivial redundancy payments, and would also have consequences for future references and the like.

    – Philip Kendall
    6 hours ago






  • 7





    What did they give you in return for a promise of confidentiality? If nothing, then you can do whatever you like.

    – Joe Strazzere
    6 hours ago


















4















As title. Just been told we are being laid off, and asked to keep it confidential from anyone outside this room.



They sent us home "to absorb the news".



Is it really the case that we cannot tell partners/spouses and have to keep it to ourselves?



When can I tell my partner? or I have to get clearance to tell?



My partner is at home so I can't turn up late with this.










share|improve this question







New contributor




user100811 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
















  • 2





    They mean "anyone outside this room who also works here." They do not mean your partner/spouse. Of course you can tell your partner/spouse.

    – joeqwerty
    7 hours ago






  • 7





    Want are they going to do if you tell others - fire you?

    – henning
    7 hours ago











  • Please don't answer questions in comments. If you know the answer, write an answer.

    – DJClayworth
    6 hours ago











  • @henning Possibly, yes. At least in the UK, would save them on the non-trivial redundancy payments, and would also have consequences for future references and the like.

    – Philip Kendall
    6 hours ago






  • 7





    What did they give you in return for a promise of confidentiality? If nothing, then you can do whatever you like.

    – Joe Strazzere
    6 hours ago
















4












4








4








As title. Just been told we are being laid off, and asked to keep it confidential from anyone outside this room.



They sent us home "to absorb the news".



Is it really the case that we cannot tell partners/spouses and have to keep it to ourselves?



When can I tell my partner? or I have to get clearance to tell?



My partner is at home so I can't turn up late with this.










share|improve this question







New contributor




user100811 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.












As title. Just been told we are being laid off, and asked to keep it confidential from anyone outside this room.



They sent us home "to absorb the news".



Is it really the case that we cannot tell partners/spouses and have to keep it to ourselves?



When can I tell my partner? or I have to get clearance to tell?



My partner is at home so I can't turn up late with this.







human-resources employer-relations mental-health






share|improve this question







New contributor




user100811 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











share|improve this question







New contributor




user100811 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









share|improve this question




share|improve this question






New contributor




user100811 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









asked 7 hours ago









user100811user100811

211




211




New contributor




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New contributor





user100811 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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user100811 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.








  • 2





    They mean "anyone outside this room who also works here." They do not mean your partner/spouse. Of course you can tell your partner/spouse.

    – joeqwerty
    7 hours ago






  • 7





    Want are they going to do if you tell others - fire you?

    – henning
    7 hours ago











  • Please don't answer questions in comments. If you know the answer, write an answer.

    – DJClayworth
    6 hours ago











  • @henning Possibly, yes. At least in the UK, would save them on the non-trivial redundancy payments, and would also have consequences for future references and the like.

    – Philip Kendall
    6 hours ago






  • 7





    What did they give you in return for a promise of confidentiality? If nothing, then you can do whatever you like.

    – Joe Strazzere
    6 hours ago
















  • 2





    They mean "anyone outside this room who also works here." They do not mean your partner/spouse. Of course you can tell your partner/spouse.

    – joeqwerty
    7 hours ago






  • 7





    Want are they going to do if you tell others - fire you?

    – henning
    7 hours ago











  • Please don't answer questions in comments. If you know the answer, write an answer.

    – DJClayworth
    6 hours ago











  • @henning Possibly, yes. At least in the UK, would save them on the non-trivial redundancy payments, and would also have consequences for future references and the like.

    – Philip Kendall
    6 hours ago






  • 7





    What did they give you in return for a promise of confidentiality? If nothing, then you can do whatever you like.

    – Joe Strazzere
    6 hours ago










2




2





They mean "anyone outside this room who also works here." They do not mean your partner/spouse. Of course you can tell your partner/spouse.

– joeqwerty
7 hours ago





They mean "anyone outside this room who also works here." They do not mean your partner/spouse. Of course you can tell your partner/spouse.

– joeqwerty
7 hours ago




7




7





Want are they going to do if you tell others - fire you?

– henning
7 hours ago





Want are they going to do if you tell others - fire you?

– henning
7 hours ago













Please don't answer questions in comments. If you know the answer, write an answer.

– DJClayworth
6 hours ago





Please don't answer questions in comments. If you know the answer, write an answer.

– DJClayworth
6 hours ago













@henning Possibly, yes. At least in the UK, would save them on the non-trivial redundancy payments, and would also have consequences for future references and the like.

– Philip Kendall
6 hours ago





@henning Possibly, yes. At least in the UK, would save them on the non-trivial redundancy payments, and would also have consequences for future references and the like.

– Philip Kendall
6 hours ago




7




7





What did they give you in return for a promise of confidentiality? If nothing, then you can do whatever you like.

– Joe Strazzere
6 hours ago







What did they give you in return for a promise of confidentiality? If nothing, then you can do whatever you like.

– Joe Strazzere
6 hours ago












3 Answers
3






active

oldest

votes


















11














You're not in the army, in prison or at school - you can tell whoever you like. What are they going to do if you do ?






share|improve this answer
























  • I agree about the military part, yet I do not see being in school restricts what you can/cannot tell others.

    – chux
    16 mins ago













  • What are they going to do? Fire you? hah.

    – Doc
    25 secs ago



















5














I would be astonished to find a jurisdiction that did not allow you to tell your partner. Many places, your partner cannot even be compelled to testify against you, so unless your partner passed the information along, nobody would ever know. That said, in telling your partner, you do become responsible for whomever they tell, if you're in a jurisdiction that provides a reason for you to not tell whomever you want.



In any event, you can at least tell your partner that you need to find a new job, along with any headhunters, recruiters, or potential employers. There's nothing that says you'd need to explain. If pressed, you could always say, "I can't keep working there. I can't talk about it."






share|improve this answer








New contributor




Ed Grimm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.




























    0














    Only you know your specific circumstances, but I can offer an example of a situation similar to yours.



    I have been laid off in corporate restructurings 5 times in my 20 years (I work in a technology field, so this is common). In one case, the HR person asked me not to discuss my layoff with others at the company while I was still permitted to be in the building. Her hope was that I would collect my things discreetly and leave. I considered her request to be reasonable and I left. I even offered to return to the company at a later time to collect my personal things when folks were not expected to be in the office and she agreed to help do this. I think we both were able to make the best out of a bad situation.



    Layoffs are tough, yet if you are asked to behave in odd ways by the people letting you, you can every obligation to clarify their expectations and to act professionally.






    share|improve this answer























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      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

      votes








      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

      votes









      active

      oldest

      votes






      active

      oldest

      votes









      11














      You're not in the army, in prison or at school - you can tell whoever you like. What are they going to do if you do ?






      share|improve this answer
























      • I agree about the military part, yet I do not see being in school restricts what you can/cannot tell others.

        – chux
        16 mins ago













      • What are they going to do? Fire you? hah.

        – Doc
        25 secs ago
















      11














      You're not in the army, in prison or at school - you can tell whoever you like. What are they going to do if you do ?






      share|improve this answer
























      • I agree about the military part, yet I do not see being in school restricts what you can/cannot tell others.

        – chux
        16 mins ago













      • What are they going to do? Fire you? hah.

        – Doc
        25 secs ago














      11












      11








      11







      You're not in the army, in prison or at school - you can tell whoever you like. What are they going to do if you do ?






      share|improve this answer













      You're not in the army, in prison or at school - you can tell whoever you like. What are they going to do if you do ?







      share|improve this answer












      share|improve this answer



      share|improve this answer










      answered 6 hours ago









      MattMatt

      453210




      453210













      • I agree about the military part, yet I do not see being in school restricts what you can/cannot tell others.

        – chux
        16 mins ago













      • What are they going to do? Fire you? hah.

        – Doc
        25 secs ago



















      • I agree about the military part, yet I do not see being in school restricts what you can/cannot tell others.

        – chux
        16 mins ago













      • What are they going to do? Fire you? hah.

        – Doc
        25 secs ago

















      I agree about the military part, yet I do not see being in school restricts what you can/cannot tell others.

      – chux
      16 mins ago







      I agree about the military part, yet I do not see being in school restricts what you can/cannot tell others.

      – chux
      16 mins ago















      What are they going to do? Fire you? hah.

      – Doc
      25 secs ago





      What are they going to do? Fire you? hah.

      – Doc
      25 secs ago













      5














      I would be astonished to find a jurisdiction that did not allow you to tell your partner. Many places, your partner cannot even be compelled to testify against you, so unless your partner passed the information along, nobody would ever know. That said, in telling your partner, you do become responsible for whomever they tell, if you're in a jurisdiction that provides a reason for you to not tell whomever you want.



      In any event, you can at least tell your partner that you need to find a new job, along with any headhunters, recruiters, or potential employers. There's nothing that says you'd need to explain. If pressed, you could always say, "I can't keep working there. I can't talk about it."






      share|improve this answer








      New contributor




      Ed Grimm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.

























        5














        I would be astonished to find a jurisdiction that did not allow you to tell your partner. Many places, your partner cannot even be compelled to testify against you, so unless your partner passed the information along, nobody would ever know. That said, in telling your partner, you do become responsible for whomever they tell, if you're in a jurisdiction that provides a reason for you to not tell whomever you want.



        In any event, you can at least tell your partner that you need to find a new job, along with any headhunters, recruiters, or potential employers. There's nothing that says you'd need to explain. If pressed, you could always say, "I can't keep working there. I can't talk about it."






        share|improve this answer








        New contributor




        Ed Grimm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
        Check out our Code of Conduct.























          5












          5








          5







          I would be astonished to find a jurisdiction that did not allow you to tell your partner. Many places, your partner cannot even be compelled to testify against you, so unless your partner passed the information along, nobody would ever know. That said, in telling your partner, you do become responsible for whomever they tell, if you're in a jurisdiction that provides a reason for you to not tell whomever you want.



          In any event, you can at least tell your partner that you need to find a new job, along with any headhunters, recruiters, or potential employers. There's nothing that says you'd need to explain. If pressed, you could always say, "I can't keep working there. I can't talk about it."






          share|improve this answer








          New contributor




          Ed Grimm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
          Check out our Code of Conduct.










          I would be astonished to find a jurisdiction that did not allow you to tell your partner. Many places, your partner cannot even be compelled to testify against you, so unless your partner passed the information along, nobody would ever know. That said, in telling your partner, you do become responsible for whomever they tell, if you're in a jurisdiction that provides a reason for you to not tell whomever you want.



          In any event, you can at least tell your partner that you need to find a new job, along with any headhunters, recruiters, or potential employers. There's nothing that says you'd need to explain. If pressed, you could always say, "I can't keep working there. I can't talk about it."







          share|improve this answer








          New contributor




          Ed Grimm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
          Check out our Code of Conduct.









          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer






          New contributor




          Ed Grimm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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          answered 3 hours ago









          Ed GrimmEd Grimm

          1715




          1715




          New contributor




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          New contributor





          Ed Grimm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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          Ed Grimm is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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              0














              Only you know your specific circumstances, but I can offer an example of a situation similar to yours.



              I have been laid off in corporate restructurings 5 times in my 20 years (I work in a technology field, so this is common). In one case, the HR person asked me not to discuss my layoff with others at the company while I was still permitted to be in the building. Her hope was that I would collect my things discreetly and leave. I considered her request to be reasonable and I left. I even offered to return to the company at a later time to collect my personal things when folks were not expected to be in the office and she agreed to help do this. I think we both were able to make the best out of a bad situation.



              Layoffs are tough, yet if you are asked to behave in odd ways by the people letting you, you can every obligation to clarify their expectations and to act professionally.






              share|improve this answer




























                0














                Only you know your specific circumstances, but I can offer an example of a situation similar to yours.



                I have been laid off in corporate restructurings 5 times in my 20 years (I work in a technology field, so this is common). In one case, the HR person asked me not to discuss my layoff with others at the company while I was still permitted to be in the building. Her hope was that I would collect my things discreetly and leave. I considered her request to be reasonable and I left. I even offered to return to the company at a later time to collect my personal things when folks were not expected to be in the office and she agreed to help do this. I think we both were able to make the best out of a bad situation.



                Layoffs are tough, yet if you are asked to behave in odd ways by the people letting you, you can every obligation to clarify their expectations and to act professionally.






                share|improve this answer


























                  0












                  0








                  0







                  Only you know your specific circumstances, but I can offer an example of a situation similar to yours.



                  I have been laid off in corporate restructurings 5 times in my 20 years (I work in a technology field, so this is common). In one case, the HR person asked me not to discuss my layoff with others at the company while I was still permitted to be in the building. Her hope was that I would collect my things discreetly and leave. I considered her request to be reasonable and I left. I even offered to return to the company at a later time to collect my personal things when folks were not expected to be in the office and she agreed to help do this. I think we both were able to make the best out of a bad situation.



                  Layoffs are tough, yet if you are asked to behave in odd ways by the people letting you, you can every obligation to clarify their expectations and to act professionally.






                  share|improve this answer













                  Only you know your specific circumstances, but I can offer an example of a situation similar to yours.



                  I have been laid off in corporate restructurings 5 times in my 20 years (I work in a technology field, so this is common). In one case, the HR person asked me not to discuss my layoff with others at the company while I was still permitted to be in the building. Her hope was that I would collect my things discreetly and leave. I considered her request to be reasonable and I left. I even offered to return to the company at a later time to collect my personal things when folks were not expected to be in the office and she agreed to help do this. I think we both were able to make the best out of a bad situation.



                  Layoffs are tough, yet if you are asked to behave in odd ways by the people letting you, you can every obligation to clarify their expectations and to act professionally.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 1 hour ago









                  user18539user18539

                  15315




                  15315






















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