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What to do with threats of blacklisting?


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2















To be brief, I am a PhD student, and I have recently had some disagreement with the way the advisor handled our collaboration on research. This was initially a fairly minor thing. I was advised to work on obtaining results he had already published At the time, no harsh words were exchanged at all, and there was some degree of understanding although I was not happy with the mistake.



This has escalated beyond belief as soon as I relayed this problem to an administrative person, to explain there was a mutual mistake and I needed more time to present some new results instead of my old ones. I explained the situation briefly to the person responsible for these things, made it clear I held no animosity or any interest in dwelling on it, and just needed some recovery time to move forwards.



This has resulted in my advisor going on a furious rant at me in public, saying he refuses to work with me anymore. In private, the advisors have said that my 'complaints' have made the group look bad (no complaint was ever made, only a request for further time), and that they have now lodged some files or something on me with people at the university marking me as a problematic student. I have also been told that my complaints will make it difficult for me to get a job even after graduation, if I get to that point, because my advisor has no intention of giving me a reference, much less a positive one.



What on earth can I do? It seems that my career is now in ruins before I have even started.



This whole situation has made me disgusted. But I cannot work elsewhere if they follow through on their threats. How can I salvage my potential career?










share|improve this question









New contributor




user41208 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
















  • 2





    (1) please edit this down to the question you want us to ask. (2) Is this in the Anglosphere + Western Europe or somewhere else? That matters greatly as to how things work for this.

    – virmaior
    1 hour ago











  • "I have also been told that my complaints etc." - told by whom?

    – einpoklum
    1 hour ago











  • Apologies for too much information. I have removed some things. My advisors have told me that due to my mentioning of these problems that they can make me unappealing to other staff/academics due to making them look bad.

    – user41208
    1 hour ago






  • 1





    You haven't yet provided an important piece of information: in which country is this happening? The answer can vary a lot from one country to another.

    – Massimo Ortolano
    58 mins ago











  • This is a UK system.

    – user41208
    36 mins ago
















2















To be brief, I am a PhD student, and I have recently had some disagreement with the way the advisor handled our collaboration on research. This was initially a fairly minor thing. I was advised to work on obtaining results he had already published At the time, no harsh words were exchanged at all, and there was some degree of understanding although I was not happy with the mistake.



This has escalated beyond belief as soon as I relayed this problem to an administrative person, to explain there was a mutual mistake and I needed more time to present some new results instead of my old ones. I explained the situation briefly to the person responsible for these things, made it clear I held no animosity or any interest in dwelling on it, and just needed some recovery time to move forwards.



This has resulted in my advisor going on a furious rant at me in public, saying he refuses to work with me anymore. In private, the advisors have said that my 'complaints' have made the group look bad (no complaint was ever made, only a request for further time), and that they have now lodged some files or something on me with people at the university marking me as a problematic student. I have also been told that my complaints will make it difficult for me to get a job even after graduation, if I get to that point, because my advisor has no intention of giving me a reference, much less a positive one.



What on earth can I do? It seems that my career is now in ruins before I have even started.



This whole situation has made me disgusted. But I cannot work elsewhere if they follow through on their threats. How can I salvage my potential career?










share|improve this question









New contributor




user41208 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
















  • 2





    (1) please edit this down to the question you want us to ask. (2) Is this in the Anglosphere + Western Europe or somewhere else? That matters greatly as to how things work for this.

    – virmaior
    1 hour ago











  • "I have also been told that my complaints etc." - told by whom?

    – einpoklum
    1 hour ago











  • Apologies for too much information. I have removed some things. My advisors have told me that due to my mentioning of these problems that they can make me unappealing to other staff/academics due to making them look bad.

    – user41208
    1 hour ago






  • 1





    You haven't yet provided an important piece of information: in which country is this happening? The answer can vary a lot from one country to another.

    – Massimo Ortolano
    58 mins ago











  • This is a UK system.

    – user41208
    36 mins ago














2












2








2


1






To be brief, I am a PhD student, and I have recently had some disagreement with the way the advisor handled our collaboration on research. This was initially a fairly minor thing. I was advised to work on obtaining results he had already published At the time, no harsh words were exchanged at all, and there was some degree of understanding although I was not happy with the mistake.



This has escalated beyond belief as soon as I relayed this problem to an administrative person, to explain there was a mutual mistake and I needed more time to present some new results instead of my old ones. I explained the situation briefly to the person responsible for these things, made it clear I held no animosity or any interest in dwelling on it, and just needed some recovery time to move forwards.



This has resulted in my advisor going on a furious rant at me in public, saying he refuses to work with me anymore. In private, the advisors have said that my 'complaints' have made the group look bad (no complaint was ever made, only a request for further time), and that they have now lodged some files or something on me with people at the university marking me as a problematic student. I have also been told that my complaints will make it difficult for me to get a job even after graduation, if I get to that point, because my advisor has no intention of giving me a reference, much less a positive one.



What on earth can I do? It seems that my career is now in ruins before I have even started.



This whole situation has made me disgusted. But I cannot work elsewhere if they follow through on their threats. How can I salvage my potential career?










share|improve this question









New contributor




user41208 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.












To be brief, I am a PhD student, and I have recently had some disagreement with the way the advisor handled our collaboration on research. This was initially a fairly minor thing. I was advised to work on obtaining results he had already published At the time, no harsh words were exchanged at all, and there was some degree of understanding although I was not happy with the mistake.



This has escalated beyond belief as soon as I relayed this problem to an administrative person, to explain there was a mutual mistake and I needed more time to present some new results instead of my old ones. I explained the situation briefly to the person responsible for these things, made it clear I held no animosity or any interest in dwelling on it, and just needed some recovery time to move forwards.



This has resulted in my advisor going on a furious rant at me in public, saying he refuses to work with me anymore. In private, the advisors have said that my 'complaints' have made the group look bad (no complaint was ever made, only a request for further time), and that they have now lodged some files or something on me with people at the university marking me as a problematic student. I have also been told that my complaints will make it difficult for me to get a job even after graduation, if I get to that point, because my advisor has no intention of giving me a reference, much less a positive one.



What on earth can I do? It seems that my career is now in ruins before I have even started.



This whole situation has made me disgusted. But I cannot work elsewhere if they follow through on their threats. How can I salvage my potential career?







phd ethics united-kingdom






share|improve this question









New contributor




user41208 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











share|improve this question









New contributor




user41208 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 3 mins ago









Tommi Brander

3,55111131




3,55111131






New contributor




user41208 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









asked 1 hour ago









user41208user41208

1164




1164




New contributor




user41208 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.





New contributor





user41208 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.






user41208 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.








  • 2





    (1) please edit this down to the question you want us to ask. (2) Is this in the Anglosphere + Western Europe or somewhere else? That matters greatly as to how things work for this.

    – virmaior
    1 hour ago











  • "I have also been told that my complaints etc." - told by whom?

    – einpoklum
    1 hour ago











  • Apologies for too much information. I have removed some things. My advisors have told me that due to my mentioning of these problems that they can make me unappealing to other staff/academics due to making them look bad.

    – user41208
    1 hour ago






  • 1





    You haven't yet provided an important piece of information: in which country is this happening? The answer can vary a lot from one country to another.

    – Massimo Ortolano
    58 mins ago











  • This is a UK system.

    – user41208
    36 mins ago














  • 2





    (1) please edit this down to the question you want us to ask. (2) Is this in the Anglosphere + Western Europe or somewhere else? That matters greatly as to how things work for this.

    – virmaior
    1 hour ago











  • "I have also been told that my complaints etc." - told by whom?

    – einpoklum
    1 hour ago











  • Apologies for too much information. I have removed some things. My advisors have told me that due to my mentioning of these problems that they can make me unappealing to other staff/academics due to making them look bad.

    – user41208
    1 hour ago






  • 1





    You haven't yet provided an important piece of information: in which country is this happening? The answer can vary a lot from one country to another.

    – Massimo Ortolano
    58 mins ago











  • This is a UK system.

    – user41208
    36 mins ago








2




2





(1) please edit this down to the question you want us to ask. (2) Is this in the Anglosphere + Western Europe or somewhere else? That matters greatly as to how things work for this.

– virmaior
1 hour ago





(1) please edit this down to the question you want us to ask. (2) Is this in the Anglosphere + Western Europe or somewhere else? That matters greatly as to how things work for this.

– virmaior
1 hour ago













"I have also been told that my complaints etc." - told by whom?

– einpoklum
1 hour ago





"I have also been told that my complaints etc." - told by whom?

– einpoklum
1 hour ago













Apologies for too much information. I have removed some things. My advisors have told me that due to my mentioning of these problems that they can make me unappealing to other staff/academics due to making them look bad.

– user41208
1 hour ago





Apologies for too much information. I have removed some things. My advisors have told me that due to my mentioning of these problems that they can make me unappealing to other staff/academics due to making them look bad.

– user41208
1 hour ago




1




1





You haven't yet provided an important piece of information: in which country is this happening? The answer can vary a lot from one country to another.

– Massimo Ortolano
58 mins ago





You haven't yet provided an important piece of information: in which country is this happening? The answer can vary a lot from one country to another.

– Massimo Ortolano
58 mins ago













This is a UK system.

– user41208
36 mins ago





This is a UK system.

– user41208
36 mins ago










1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes


















5














You have not quite told us what happened with you, your advisor and your research group. But even your vague description betrays what I believe to be a lack of awareness to certain aspects of professional/interpersonal interaction which is now biting you in the ass.




This was initially a fairly minor thing. I just needed to explain to others that there was some confusion which my advisor admitted to me privately




This was not a minor, thing - it was a large thing. A huge thing probably. Why?




  • You repeated something told to you in confidence, to outsiders, and made it (somewhat) generally known.

  • You assigned blame to your advisor while (seemingly) hinting he was incapable/unwilling to take on the blame, thus slighting his character as a person and as a manager.


... and this was even before any official complaints were lodged about anything and anyone.



Now, maybe that's not the only way to look at what happened, but it could very well be the way that your advisor and many others - in and out of your research group - see things. It's possible that, on the merit of the original matter, what you said was true - but that doesn't help with how you conducted yourself.




This whole situation has made me disgusted.




You must realize that the feeling may be mutual. Try to look at things from the other person's perspective - what do they expect and believe - and be aware that they will judge you from that perspective, not on the basis of the facts, or what you consider to be the facts and circumstances.




What on earth can I do?




Unless it jeopardizes the integrity of yours and others research - swallow your pride/disgust, stash your ego somewhat, and apologize to your advisor for your conduct. Be, or pretend to be, penitent.



Does this mean that he's not really to blame for anything? Not really. Maybe most of the blame is with him. But - that doesn't really matter. You have to be generous with taking blame and cutting people slack (whether they deserve it in your opinion or not), as long as others/society/science don't suffer as a consequence. That's an important salve to apply to situations of people being offended.






share|improve this answer


























  • Thank you for your advice, but I should make it clear I did not blame him, in fact I made it very clear I was not complaining about anything, only requesting more time due to a shared mistake. I took every step to say that the relationship was good. There was in fact no complaint lodged by me at all. I was requested to edit things down so I removed some clarifying information, perhaps. But there was no complaint ever lodged, informally or formally.

    – user41208
    1 hour ago








  • 1





    @user41208: This may be clear to you, but reading your question - the opposite was clear to me. I mean, you don't have to say "I'm blaming him" for another party to construe what you've said as an assignment of blaim to him.

    – einpoklum
    1 hour ago











  • Thanks for your perspective. I'm just wondering how this is interpreted as a complaint when the advisor is aware of me not actually making any complaint at all, only a request for further time, and how that escalates so rapidly to "I can make it very hard for you to find work." As for my comment about disgust, this related to further information I edited out after being asked to cut it down. The question is possibly a bit of a mess, I now realise.

    – user41208
    21 mins ago











Your Answer








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1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes








1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes









active

oldest

votes






active

oldest

votes









5














You have not quite told us what happened with you, your advisor and your research group. But even your vague description betrays what I believe to be a lack of awareness to certain aspects of professional/interpersonal interaction which is now biting you in the ass.




This was initially a fairly minor thing. I just needed to explain to others that there was some confusion which my advisor admitted to me privately




This was not a minor, thing - it was a large thing. A huge thing probably. Why?




  • You repeated something told to you in confidence, to outsiders, and made it (somewhat) generally known.

  • You assigned blame to your advisor while (seemingly) hinting he was incapable/unwilling to take on the blame, thus slighting his character as a person and as a manager.


... and this was even before any official complaints were lodged about anything and anyone.



Now, maybe that's not the only way to look at what happened, but it could very well be the way that your advisor and many others - in and out of your research group - see things. It's possible that, on the merit of the original matter, what you said was true - but that doesn't help with how you conducted yourself.




This whole situation has made me disgusted.




You must realize that the feeling may be mutual. Try to look at things from the other person's perspective - what do they expect and believe - and be aware that they will judge you from that perspective, not on the basis of the facts, or what you consider to be the facts and circumstances.




What on earth can I do?




Unless it jeopardizes the integrity of yours and others research - swallow your pride/disgust, stash your ego somewhat, and apologize to your advisor for your conduct. Be, or pretend to be, penitent.



Does this mean that he's not really to blame for anything? Not really. Maybe most of the blame is with him. But - that doesn't really matter. You have to be generous with taking blame and cutting people slack (whether they deserve it in your opinion or not), as long as others/society/science don't suffer as a consequence. That's an important salve to apply to situations of people being offended.






share|improve this answer


























  • Thank you for your advice, but I should make it clear I did not blame him, in fact I made it very clear I was not complaining about anything, only requesting more time due to a shared mistake. I took every step to say that the relationship was good. There was in fact no complaint lodged by me at all. I was requested to edit things down so I removed some clarifying information, perhaps. But there was no complaint ever lodged, informally or formally.

    – user41208
    1 hour ago








  • 1





    @user41208: This may be clear to you, but reading your question - the opposite was clear to me. I mean, you don't have to say "I'm blaming him" for another party to construe what you've said as an assignment of blaim to him.

    – einpoklum
    1 hour ago











  • Thanks for your perspective. I'm just wondering how this is interpreted as a complaint when the advisor is aware of me not actually making any complaint at all, only a request for further time, and how that escalates so rapidly to "I can make it very hard for you to find work." As for my comment about disgust, this related to further information I edited out after being asked to cut it down. The question is possibly a bit of a mess, I now realise.

    – user41208
    21 mins ago
















5














You have not quite told us what happened with you, your advisor and your research group. But even your vague description betrays what I believe to be a lack of awareness to certain aspects of professional/interpersonal interaction which is now biting you in the ass.




This was initially a fairly minor thing. I just needed to explain to others that there was some confusion which my advisor admitted to me privately




This was not a minor, thing - it was a large thing. A huge thing probably. Why?




  • You repeated something told to you in confidence, to outsiders, and made it (somewhat) generally known.

  • You assigned blame to your advisor while (seemingly) hinting he was incapable/unwilling to take on the blame, thus slighting his character as a person and as a manager.


... and this was even before any official complaints were lodged about anything and anyone.



Now, maybe that's not the only way to look at what happened, but it could very well be the way that your advisor and many others - in and out of your research group - see things. It's possible that, on the merit of the original matter, what you said was true - but that doesn't help with how you conducted yourself.




This whole situation has made me disgusted.




You must realize that the feeling may be mutual. Try to look at things from the other person's perspective - what do they expect and believe - and be aware that they will judge you from that perspective, not on the basis of the facts, or what you consider to be the facts and circumstances.




What on earth can I do?




Unless it jeopardizes the integrity of yours and others research - swallow your pride/disgust, stash your ego somewhat, and apologize to your advisor for your conduct. Be, or pretend to be, penitent.



Does this mean that he's not really to blame for anything? Not really. Maybe most of the blame is with him. But - that doesn't really matter. You have to be generous with taking blame and cutting people slack (whether they deserve it in your opinion or not), as long as others/society/science don't suffer as a consequence. That's an important salve to apply to situations of people being offended.






share|improve this answer


























  • Thank you for your advice, but I should make it clear I did not blame him, in fact I made it very clear I was not complaining about anything, only requesting more time due to a shared mistake. I took every step to say that the relationship was good. There was in fact no complaint lodged by me at all. I was requested to edit things down so I removed some clarifying information, perhaps. But there was no complaint ever lodged, informally or formally.

    – user41208
    1 hour ago








  • 1





    @user41208: This may be clear to you, but reading your question - the opposite was clear to me. I mean, you don't have to say "I'm blaming him" for another party to construe what you've said as an assignment of blaim to him.

    – einpoklum
    1 hour ago











  • Thanks for your perspective. I'm just wondering how this is interpreted as a complaint when the advisor is aware of me not actually making any complaint at all, only a request for further time, and how that escalates so rapidly to "I can make it very hard for you to find work." As for my comment about disgust, this related to further information I edited out after being asked to cut it down. The question is possibly a bit of a mess, I now realise.

    – user41208
    21 mins ago














5












5








5







You have not quite told us what happened with you, your advisor and your research group. But even your vague description betrays what I believe to be a lack of awareness to certain aspects of professional/interpersonal interaction which is now biting you in the ass.




This was initially a fairly minor thing. I just needed to explain to others that there was some confusion which my advisor admitted to me privately




This was not a minor, thing - it was a large thing. A huge thing probably. Why?




  • You repeated something told to you in confidence, to outsiders, and made it (somewhat) generally known.

  • You assigned blame to your advisor while (seemingly) hinting he was incapable/unwilling to take on the blame, thus slighting his character as a person and as a manager.


... and this was even before any official complaints were lodged about anything and anyone.



Now, maybe that's not the only way to look at what happened, but it could very well be the way that your advisor and many others - in and out of your research group - see things. It's possible that, on the merit of the original matter, what you said was true - but that doesn't help with how you conducted yourself.




This whole situation has made me disgusted.




You must realize that the feeling may be mutual. Try to look at things from the other person's perspective - what do they expect and believe - and be aware that they will judge you from that perspective, not on the basis of the facts, or what you consider to be the facts and circumstances.




What on earth can I do?




Unless it jeopardizes the integrity of yours and others research - swallow your pride/disgust, stash your ego somewhat, and apologize to your advisor for your conduct. Be, or pretend to be, penitent.



Does this mean that he's not really to blame for anything? Not really. Maybe most of the blame is with him. But - that doesn't really matter. You have to be generous with taking blame and cutting people slack (whether they deserve it in your opinion or not), as long as others/society/science don't suffer as a consequence. That's an important salve to apply to situations of people being offended.






share|improve this answer















You have not quite told us what happened with you, your advisor and your research group. But even your vague description betrays what I believe to be a lack of awareness to certain aspects of professional/interpersonal interaction which is now biting you in the ass.




This was initially a fairly minor thing. I just needed to explain to others that there was some confusion which my advisor admitted to me privately




This was not a minor, thing - it was a large thing. A huge thing probably. Why?




  • You repeated something told to you in confidence, to outsiders, and made it (somewhat) generally known.

  • You assigned blame to your advisor while (seemingly) hinting he was incapable/unwilling to take on the blame, thus slighting his character as a person and as a manager.


... and this was even before any official complaints were lodged about anything and anyone.



Now, maybe that's not the only way to look at what happened, but it could very well be the way that your advisor and many others - in and out of your research group - see things. It's possible that, on the merit of the original matter, what you said was true - but that doesn't help with how you conducted yourself.




This whole situation has made me disgusted.




You must realize that the feeling may be mutual. Try to look at things from the other person's perspective - what do they expect and believe - and be aware that they will judge you from that perspective, not on the basis of the facts, or what you consider to be the facts and circumstances.




What on earth can I do?




Unless it jeopardizes the integrity of yours and others research - swallow your pride/disgust, stash your ego somewhat, and apologize to your advisor for your conduct. Be, or pretend to be, penitent.



Does this mean that he's not really to blame for anything? Not really. Maybe most of the blame is with him. But - that doesn't really matter. You have to be generous with taking blame and cutting people slack (whether they deserve it in your opinion or not), as long as others/society/science don't suffer as a consequence. That's an important salve to apply to situations of people being offended.







share|improve this answer














share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer








edited 1 hour ago

























answered 1 hour ago









einpoklumeinpoklum

24.1k138138




24.1k138138













  • Thank you for your advice, but I should make it clear I did not blame him, in fact I made it very clear I was not complaining about anything, only requesting more time due to a shared mistake. I took every step to say that the relationship was good. There was in fact no complaint lodged by me at all. I was requested to edit things down so I removed some clarifying information, perhaps. But there was no complaint ever lodged, informally or formally.

    – user41208
    1 hour ago








  • 1





    @user41208: This may be clear to you, but reading your question - the opposite was clear to me. I mean, you don't have to say "I'm blaming him" for another party to construe what you've said as an assignment of blaim to him.

    – einpoklum
    1 hour ago











  • Thanks for your perspective. I'm just wondering how this is interpreted as a complaint when the advisor is aware of me not actually making any complaint at all, only a request for further time, and how that escalates so rapidly to "I can make it very hard for you to find work." As for my comment about disgust, this related to further information I edited out after being asked to cut it down. The question is possibly a bit of a mess, I now realise.

    – user41208
    21 mins ago



















  • Thank you for your advice, but I should make it clear I did not blame him, in fact I made it very clear I was not complaining about anything, only requesting more time due to a shared mistake. I took every step to say that the relationship was good. There was in fact no complaint lodged by me at all. I was requested to edit things down so I removed some clarifying information, perhaps. But there was no complaint ever lodged, informally or formally.

    – user41208
    1 hour ago








  • 1





    @user41208: This may be clear to you, but reading your question - the opposite was clear to me. I mean, you don't have to say "I'm blaming him" for another party to construe what you've said as an assignment of blaim to him.

    – einpoklum
    1 hour ago











  • Thanks for your perspective. I'm just wondering how this is interpreted as a complaint when the advisor is aware of me not actually making any complaint at all, only a request for further time, and how that escalates so rapidly to "I can make it very hard for you to find work." As for my comment about disgust, this related to further information I edited out after being asked to cut it down. The question is possibly a bit of a mess, I now realise.

    – user41208
    21 mins ago

















Thank you for your advice, but I should make it clear I did not blame him, in fact I made it very clear I was not complaining about anything, only requesting more time due to a shared mistake. I took every step to say that the relationship was good. There was in fact no complaint lodged by me at all. I was requested to edit things down so I removed some clarifying information, perhaps. But there was no complaint ever lodged, informally or formally.

– user41208
1 hour ago







Thank you for your advice, but I should make it clear I did not blame him, in fact I made it very clear I was not complaining about anything, only requesting more time due to a shared mistake. I took every step to say that the relationship was good. There was in fact no complaint lodged by me at all. I was requested to edit things down so I removed some clarifying information, perhaps. But there was no complaint ever lodged, informally or formally.

– user41208
1 hour ago






1




1





@user41208: This may be clear to you, but reading your question - the opposite was clear to me. I mean, you don't have to say "I'm blaming him" for another party to construe what you've said as an assignment of blaim to him.

– einpoklum
1 hour ago





@user41208: This may be clear to you, but reading your question - the opposite was clear to me. I mean, you don't have to say "I'm blaming him" for another party to construe what you've said as an assignment of blaim to him.

– einpoklum
1 hour ago













Thanks for your perspective. I'm just wondering how this is interpreted as a complaint when the advisor is aware of me not actually making any complaint at all, only a request for further time, and how that escalates so rapidly to "I can make it very hard for you to find work." As for my comment about disgust, this related to further information I edited out after being asked to cut it down. The question is possibly a bit of a mess, I now realise.

– user41208
21 mins ago





Thanks for your perspective. I'm just wondering how this is interpreted as a complaint when the advisor is aware of me not actually making any complaint at all, only a request for further time, and how that escalates so rapidly to "I can make it very hard for you to find work." As for my comment about disgust, this related to further information I edited out after being asked to cut it down. The question is possibly a bit of a mess, I now realise.

– user41208
21 mins ago










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