Ygthkb

A while back, I redrafted my NaNoWriMo 2017 story, but it still needs another draft. This question is about one of the concerns I have.

The story takes place in a medieval fantasy setting, and the protagonist is a homeless orphan of about fourteen. As a result, she has a somewhat limited education, and at various points has to have long or complex words explained to her. At first I inserted these moments in order to underscore her limited education, but I kept on inserting them in order to pad things out just that little bit more.

An example: the villain, whose thieves' guild the protagonist has infiltrated, is describing their master plan, and refers to a "network of clandestine tunnels" under the city. The protagonist's partner notices her confusion, leans over, and whispers, "'Clandestine' means 'secret'".

I don't have access to the full draft right now, but off the top of my head, this happens at least six times in the space of 41,000 words, including once during what's supposed to be a very dramatic and emotional climax. I'm worrying that this is too frequent, and that it might get tedious or distract from the story somewhat. Will it? Or am I overthinking it?

It sounds very gimmicky, to be honest. I think you should think of more different ways in which her lower education would show, and switch it up a bit. Etiquette comes to mind, not being able to read, not being able to swim, being able to practical things of a commoner...

As a joke, it can work quite well if done right. For example having her ask "Who's Clandestine and why is she building tunnels?" or having her partner reply with "Clandestine means he's being an arse who wants to show off his fancy words in front of us" instead of actually answering the question. If you first build up the thing that she has to ask for words sometimes, then such a surprising joke would be a cool payoff to that buildup. But even that joke has a short half-life and should be used very sporadically, maybe even only once. And it sounds to me like you're not trying to be humorous anyway.

Generally, your phrasing "to pad things out just that little bit more" is obviously alarming, because that's a bad reason to do anything. If it adds nothing to the story anymore, then leave it out. But do respect the character trait you've built up and don't ignore it! What you could do is that when someone says something complicated, have the narrator mention that your protagonist had the word explained to her before she answered. It might also be interesting what she does about this handicap that she has. Maybe she starts a mental list of new words, similar to Arya Stark's list of people she wants to kill? Maybe she starts using the words herself very often, and in slightly inappropriate contexts?

But yeah, all in all I think it's a bit gimmicky, and in thinking about it I always come to the conclusion that it should be played for laughs or not done at all. I don't think you can have a dramatic and serious story with that kind of gimmick in it. Mention it at the beginning, and mention that she's frustrated by it. Maybe mention that she starts ignoring words she doesn't know, but reminds herself to look them up later. Then you can skip having to explain every complicated word and keep moving forward with the actual story.

Side note, this setup would be quite nice for a children's story, though.

It seems more like a running gag, than a character trait or infodump.

Running gags have comedic "rules" and structure, so it becomes less about texture and more about timing. That doesn't mean you are going for a big laugh, but you are establishing a pattern for the reader and then deciding when to invoke it, and later when to break it.

The gag is not so much about author to reader (although obviously that is a huge part of it), instead it is about getting other characters in on the gag. Once you've established the pattern that she is misinterpreting big words, other character's personalities come into play. Someone who is mentoring her will try to help her by explaining, but other characters will get annoyed or be amused by this. They will tell her wrong definitions, or tell each other very obvious definitions (more to rib the mentor, than her). This can lead to moments when the gag turns dark or mean, unintentionally. Extra opportunity for small conflicts within the group that arise from natural (habitual) character traits.

Breaking the pattern isn't just about making her suddenly smarter, it's also about other characters chiming in unhelpfully, and mimicking the moment to others. It's also about these other characters expecting the pattern too, and when there is suddenly a long passage of big words and it appears she understood it all, these characters who have become to expect it are now the butt of the joke because they have played into the pattern and their expectations are subverted. This uses the gag as more than just comedy, as it helps to evolve the bonds between the group, when minor antagonism turns into respect, or the moment she turns it around and has to explain something only a 14yo orphan girl would understand.

Story actions should serve multiple purposes

There's limited space in narration to get across what you're trying to say. Sure, you can always make the story longer - and bore or annoy people. (Your stated concern.)

You say you originally introduced the explaining big words to illustrate a deficiency in your protagonist's education. That's actually a great idea. But if you reuse the need to have things explained to only reemphasize the same point, you're eventually just wasting time. Worse yet if your other characters start using overly complicated language simply so you, the author, can create opportunities to insert pedantic explanations as filler.

If something has to be defined for the protagonist, make that an opportunity to explore exactly who she is

In some stories, an AI will ask about the meaning of words like "love" or "friendship". This is not simply to show that the AI doesn't know the basic definitions of some words - it's to illustrate an ignorance of facets of the human condition. And also, perhaps, to explore our own hypocrisy about such things. (It's often very badly done...)

Dialogue about what a word means, or what an unfamiliar institution represents, can open doors for deep social commentary, as well as a humorous or shocking window into the past deprivation of the protagonist. ("Gorged? What do you mean, so full that you can't eat more? Who ever has that much to eat?")

You're underusing the technique if you're only filling space.